Purr, My Ass

From: Craigslist
Posted: July 10, 2009, 6:56PM EDT
Location: Olney, Pennsylvania
Section: Women seeking women.

Ad:
Purr.......Meow.....The real deal! - 28

"Hello Ladies, I’m an attractive down to earth fun, sexy, loving AAF. I’m married, but quite frankly bored out of my mine and unsatisfied! I’m very clean; keep my hair, nails, and feet done, very fashionable. When I’m out I get stares from both men and women! I’m educated, physically fit, with a very good career. I’m 5’ 135lbs with 34DD breasts. I have my own home, and drive. I love seafood, laughing and down to earth people. I’m looking to meet someone tomorrow. I need someone to lift my spirits and treat me like the wonderful woman that I am. If you know you can not meet me ASAP then please don’t reply to this post. I’m looking for NSA fun only. We don’t have to hook up the first time we meet, but anything is possible. You must be attractive, clean very feminine as I am my self. We must keep this very discreet. I have more photos available. Please be able to hold a decent conversation. No hood rats please…… NO MEN, NO BUTCHES…..and NO THREESOMES…… with your man! I will NOT respond to anyone who does not send a pic.... I will not go to any website to see your photos. Must be willing to voice vertify ASAP
xoxoxo"

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I'm just gonna go straight into it.

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She says: I'm bored out of my 'mine' and unsatisfied.
But: What about vibrators? Or porn? Or your fingers? Heck, have a donut. There are plenty of ways to kill boredom and to satisfying yourself without cheating.

She says: I have a good career.
But: She won't have it for long if this gets out.

She says: Very discreet.
But: In the ad, she posted a photo of her ass.

She says: NSA.
But: There. Are. ALWAYS. Strings. Attatched. When. You. Are. MARRIED. HELLO YOU STUPID BITCH!
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Seriously...why do people continue to think that adultery is acceptable. It doesn't matter whether you're a man or a woman, young or old, gay or straight. Cheating is going to FUCK UP YOUR MARRIAGE. If you aren't happy, then get out. But don't cheat!

Meet the Minotauress

From: Craigslist

Posted: June 21, 2009, 8:44PM EDT

Location: West Georgia

Section: Women seeking women

Ad:

not sure where to start - 25

"not sure where to start. im a happily married bi woman. ive been with one woman sexually a few times and been close with a couple of others. my husband knows im posting and is ok with it completely. he works alot and wants me to have a "friend"... i have 3 beautiful children. im looking for a long term friend with the possibility of it becoming sexual. i have no interest in being with another man so married women may not work out well. i dunno. i also want you to be sweet and attractive. no wild chics or party animals. i work in a public setting so im going to be very picky about who i show my face to. i must be sure your really a woman and who you say you are. here is a pic to give ya an idea about my body. im 5-2, wear size 0-2 in jeans and size 34D bra. please send a pic and tell me a little about you when replying. "

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Not sure where to start, eh? Well, I can think of a few places.

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She says: I'm looking for a long term friend.

But: You can have long term friend without becoming sexual with them.

She says: I'm 5'2" and wear a size 0-2 jeans.

But: She wears a 34D bra. What the shit...does anyone else think that this does not compute?

She says: I work in a public setting so I'll have to be selective about who I show my face to.

But: If she really cared about her public image then she WOULDN'T BE LOOKING TO BE WITH SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF HER MARRIAGE.

She says: I'm happily married.
But: She is POSTING A FUCKING PERSONAL AD THAT STATES AN INTEREST IN BEING SEXUAL OUTSIDE OF HER MARRIAGE.

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Look, people. Even if your spouse says 'go for it,' DON'T FUCKING DO IT. Problems will spring up, and in fact your spouse may only be doing it so he/she can have a threesome! Don't look at me like that, it's been done before, especially if the shit on the 'do it do it' end has a dick.

Oh, and that toilet frightens me.