Tuesday, June 23, 2009

You love your man, huh?

From: Craigslist
Posted: June 22, 2009, 6:56PM PDT
Location: Bremerton, Washington state
Section: Women seeking women
Married Bi Girl wants some spark - w4w - 31
"Okay ladies, here's the thing.... I am married to wonderful man whom I love dearly. But no matter how good my imagination is, I still think about women ALOT. What I don't want is: DRAMA, cooties of any kind, long email relationship. If you want to know, yes, he knows, NO he will never be involved... nor do I want to put on a show for your man!! This is Women 4 Women, remember!!

Here's what I'm picturing: let's meet for a drink somewhere, "bump" into each other and let me pick you up. Let's make out in the car like we're teenagers again! Remember that feeling?? I would love to be the more aggressive one, so let me ravish you, would ya??

Me: 31, 5'6", size 12 jeans and a Medium top. Very pretty, if I do say so myself. Green eyes, reddish hair, ,wear a 36C. Smart, funny, sarcastic; I'm the life of the party. I have plenty of friends, just no "close" friends, if you get my drift.

You: 24 - 38, size 6 - 16, Married is totally okay, but like I said, NO MEN involved, this includes watching! BiCurious okay, just show up! I also think piercings are VERY HOT!! No STD's (that includes herpes people), no illegal drugs, no jealous boyfriends/husbands. If you're butch, I couldn't say for sure I'm not interested, unless I see a picture. All women are beautiful and variety is the spice of life.

If this sounds like something you could be into, drop me a line with the pertinent info, age, location, and a RECENT PIC of you fully clothed and that shows your face!! I am not even going to get into bots and crazy guys who pretend to be chicks. Tell me a little about yourself and include the name of your favorite movie in there, so I know you really read this. I will respond with a pic of myself."
Look people, I know you can get bored when you're in a relationship.
But that's what porn is for.
This, however, is ridiculous.
Let's break it down now.
She says: I love him dearly.
But: She still wants to have an affair. If she really loved him, she wouldn't be posting an ad saying she was looking elsewhere!
She says: I'm smart.
But: She also says "Let's make out in the car like we're teenagers again." We all know how that ends up. She also can't use a comma properly to save her life.
She says: No drama.
But: Why do people who don't want drama PERSISTENLY MAKE SURE TO PUT IT IN ALL CAPS?
Seriously, I'm done being nice/trying to be funny. Cheating is not cool, and girl, you need a vicious slap of reality. I feel slightly sorry for your man, although if he's going along with it, then you're an idiot for not expecting him to try to get involved.

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