Saturday, June 27, 2009

Looking to get down to 'business'

From: Craigslist
Posted: June 27, 2009, 7:36AM CDT
Location: Downtown - Millenium Park, Chicago, Illinois
Section: Men seeking men.

Morning BJ. NSA from Bi Handsome Biz travellee. - 34
"Handsome Married Guy. In town on business. Looking for other VGL str8/ bi guys to service this morning. Looking for now. Please be clean. I can host. five eight. one sixty five. seven uc. worked out muscular bod. mod. hairy. middle eastern background."
I'll tell you what, the Chicago section on Craigslist has the highest number of men looking for men when they're in town on business. It's unreal.
He says: Looking for straight/bi guys.
But: Aren't straight guys looking for pussies and not dicks?

He says: Muscular bod.
But: He has a BMI of 25.1, if his measurements are accurate. That means that he's overweight.

He says: NSA.
But: He's MARRIED. Marriage always means that there's QUITE A FEW STRINGS.
Well, this is the ad I had to use Urban Dictionary to decipher. I had no clue what VGL or seven uc meant. To clarify for other people like me...
VGL = Very Good Looking.
Seven uc = Seven inches, uncircumcised.
Um, EW.
Even the gay guys I know say that circumcised is prefered. UC just looks like a reeeeallly ugly worm. Not that a dick is attractive anyway, but the uc factor makes it ten times worse.

ANYWAY, what I find worse about this ad is that he's looking for STRAIGHT MEN to give him a blowjob. Maybe you need to look up the UD definition of straight:
"not gay"

I rest my case, you fuckrat.
P.S. The picture came up when I googled 'shady business.' I couldn't resist putting it.

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